Having someone tell you that it is best to “stay friends” instead of pursuing a serious relationship after having casual sex can hurt, especially if one person really likes the other. Hearing someone explain why he or she does not want to be in a romantic relationship is worse. Pain, tears, and anger can be involved. To soften the fall, many people say “let’s just be/stay friends.” Many people who are not looking into a serious relationship are just in it for casual sex. They like having the other person in their life, but they are not into him or her romantically. If both people are mature emotionally and lacking the romantic feelings, being in the friend zone and staying there can definitely be possible. However, this rarely happens because two people of the opposite sex can’t always just stay friends. When people “mutually break up” it is not usually mutual and one of them continues to hold on to romantic desires. So,You need a good strategy to get into your friends pants again without troubling the friendship. You can get this strategy by reading this guide on how to get laid. This guide contains a strategy for adult dating and answers many questions that come up in your mind about casual sex.
Sometimes, people choose to have sex without the hassle and pressure of dating because they have been hurt before; it has been a strategy for adult dating. Having a friend with benefits is pretty much a win-win situation but there would be times when the sexual part of the relationship fizzles out and things can start to be weird from there – depending on how both individuals handle the situation. Although it is not easy, it can be possible with effort.
Why Stay Friends?
One question you should ask yourself is why you want to stay friends after the fizzle fades. Traditional wisdom says it’s impossible or not worth the effort and this holds true in most cases. If the person has been a good friend before the sex happened, perhaps one of you wants to save the friendship. If the friendship was great and you felt comfortable being around one another, it makes sense to keep them around whenever possible, so it is usually in both your best interests to keep the friendship intact – or at least try to.
There is almost no way that a reasonable and normal human being can go from having sexual relations with someone and shift to becoming friends in such a short period of time. Emotions are not easily switched on or off. There is also an old saying that it takes half the length of the relationship go get over it. This means that a romance that lasted for 6 months would require a 3-motnh healing period. If the friendship is something you really want to have, give it half a year before you contact the person again, although sometimes, at this point, the person would wonder what it is you want from them.
Is the Feeling Mutual?
Before proposing staying or going back to being just friends, make sure the other person wants the same thing and be clear about what type of relationship you want. Make certain that the other person is on the same page. If he or she ended it, that person may be afraid that you aren’t over him or her although this does not indicate that he/she is not interested in being friends. This simply means you have to make it clear that you accepted his/her decision. If the sex ended on bad terms, the other person may be too bitter to want to be friends, so trust your instincts on this one.
If the other person is making an effort to stay in touch, it is a good sign, but this doesn’t mean he or she will not be hesitant to meet you so hold that part off for a while. Give him or her some time to get over the relationship (yes, being friends with benefits is still a relationship). The fact that he or she is returning your calls or stays connected with you through social media suggests he or she wants to stay friends.
If you have decided to date other people, let the other person know and indirectly encourage him or her to do the same as this would help them realize that you now have someone else to romance. If telling the other person is difficult, it’s a sign that you need more time before getting back to the friendship zone.
Why You Should Not Be Friends
Reason number one:
Friends – normal friends – do things for one another. When you’re sick, they take care of you or give you a call. If you are having a bad day, they take you out and try to cheer you up. On your birthday, they give you a present or plan a surprise party for you. In the midst of all the support, kindness, and love, the other person may take it the wrong way and think there is some sort of spark underneath the effort. He or she might as “Would you really put all that effort just for him/her if you didn’t feel anything?”
Reason number two:
Sex creates a bond no matter what others say. Because of having a sexual relationship with no strings attached, someone is bound to get hurt. Mutual orgasms may be the sole purpose of these relationships and it has been a strategy for adult dating, but this also means that two people share a kind of closeness. They do something intimate with one another regularly with one person inevitably feeling a strong bond compared to the other. Even though they were not looking for any serious relationship at first, one gets attached. Another scenario could be that one person may have been secretly attracted to the other but thought maybe casual sex would be the closest they would get to being with that person. Romantic feelings would be hard to turn off and will take a lot of time. Being friends will make it hard for the one whose feelings developed. If you have been dumped before, you would know how painful it is to be rejected.
Reason number three:
The aftermath jealousy will definitely happen even you try to convince yourself it won’t. If you are not quite sure what that is, here is an explanation: women are naturally jealous and they always will be. As for men, when they get jealous, they can get become vengeful and women will become hateful. These two types of jealousies do not mix together. Whichever side of the coin you are on, it is only natural to get jealous if ever you do see your former casual sex partner going on dates or flirting with other people. You can also feel like something that is or was yours was being taken even if you two were never exactly together or were not in a commitment; you will have that sense of entitlement that is far more than there should be if you were just having casual sex.
There is really no answer to whether it’s a good idea to stay friends after the excitement of casual sex is over. Remember, though, that building a friendship after the relationship is done will take a lot of work from both people. It is not something that anyone can easily shift into because there are feelings involved. Before telling the other person “let’s stay friends,” think deeply if it is something that you really want. Think about the risks that could possibly happen and ask yourself why it is something that you want.